o, tits.

oh, what a pity!

the world isn´t as full of wonder as it was just a few months ago. it gets harder than watching paper airplanes glide from third floor windows or appreciating the tile on the floor in wherever you go.

i suppose it has to do with the fact that my bi-daily grain supply has come to an end. but i know the world will live again. it always does through rides in machines and trips to the bathroom to gain perspective and closing then opening your eyes.

last weekend i went to the mountain.

i sent you pictures. we drove around in the country listening to the country accents and looking for a cock fight. unfortunately we never found one. walk through a greenhouse in the middle of the night blownout.

this week i´m doing homework and nothing and falling asleep early on my girlfriend´s bed.

like a goddamn slob.

maybe i´ll see a movie later. an israeli picture. speaking of israeli pictures, i choose to leave you with a quote from will:

"Tits! Is that too much to ask from a movie? Even Schindler got some action when he wasn't saving Jews. Hell, even seeing those Israelite gals run around naked in the camp was erotic, in a very macabre sort of way--the erotics of humiliation, perhaps--and there's something joyful and almost humorous about that scene."

let's hear it for grass roots movements?

so exactly what the hell did i get myself into? did i expect to find civil peace in a country that's thrown two of it's presidents out of office in the last ten years?

three dead, sixty asfixiated from the mustard gas last night. i went to the protest with my girlfriend, too be nice. but IT'S NOT MY FUCKING COUNTRY. they were chanting let's go quito, you don't fuck with quito, bitch. that's a rough translation of course.

everybody's in the street. and i can't get home because the roads are blocked off, and there's mustard gas? the motherfucking president is paying people to come in from the country to drink and to fight.
http://www.nadir.org/nadir/initiativ/agp/free/imf/ecuador/txt/2002/0320shot.jpg

oh, that crazy latin america, what will they come up with next?


smirk on my face: "pray for me."

we are damned.

i woke up this morning next to a bloody window, stumbled over my bedding partner, and

LOOKED AT THE DUDE IN THE MIRROR.

i had a couple puff from an ugly little pipe a friend gave me, it has an iguana on it. i made it to school in a comfortable blue cloud. i am getting somewhere

in buses, where i like to sit alone next to an empty seat. i am getting somewhere

*

in the lobby of the sanfrancisco i saw neil young's hair.

neil young on saturday night live on a big screen television
in ecuador in another language, somehow neil young didn't fit there.


*
a conscious leaf?

i fell in love seventeen times last week, but never outloud

i am looking forward to you
through time:

a.i can touch you,
b.you are here,
c.not here.


i am not here?

a conscious leaf at 11:46 a.m.

*

i woke up the other morning alone again,
wishing i could call some people's names
and faces i know
i'd like to get drunk completely in english for once. and completely.

and if you want to get or lose a grip on things you can drink robitussin from a bottle
and stare in a mirror

(1)but we all know that
(2)but sometimes when i walk outside then all the fear or guilt or____dissolves
or at least has eyes and i can be no one again
just like every body's else.