we are damned.

i woke up this morning next to a bloody window, stumbled over my bedding partner, and

LOOKED AT THE DUDE IN THE MIRROR.

i had a couple puff from an ugly little pipe a friend gave me, it has an iguana on it. i made it to school in a comfortable blue cloud. i am getting somewhere

in buses, where i like to sit alone next to an empty seat. i am getting somewhere

*

in the lobby of the sanfrancisco i saw neil young's hair.

neil young on saturday night live on a big screen television
in ecuador in another language, somehow neil young didn't fit there.


*
a conscious leaf?

i fell in love seventeen times last week, but never outloud

i am looking forward to you
through time:

a.i can touch you,
b.you are here,
c.not here.


i am not here?

a conscious leaf at 11:46 a.m.

*

i woke up the other morning alone again,
wishing i could call some people's names
and faces i know
i'd like to get drunk completely in english for once. and completely.

and if you want to get or lose a grip on things you can drink robitussin from a bottle
and stare in a mirror

(1)but we all know that
(2)but sometimes when i walk outside then all the fear or guilt or____dissolves
or at least has eyes and i can be no one again
just like every body's else.