'are you my arthur?'

i think it was a couple of months ago, somewhere in the blur of the end of the summer and the beginning of school and fall that i really started realizing i'm going to die some day. if i really had to narrow it down i think i was having some psychedelic thoughts, silly but important thoughts like thinking of my body as the union-point of a holy place or wishing i really felt more solidarity with the whole of the animal kingdom. anyway it scared me that some day i'll be nothingness. nothingness in more explicit terms than nothingness inside my soul or a nothingness you can find on the dirty floor of my room.

and you'd think all those thoughts would encourage me to get my act together. or i'd think so. but sometimes i'd rather hang out than strike some sort of chord with the eternal.

but i have to go now.